Woods

That whole funny thing about being at the same bar 2 nights in a row never happened b/c Red Pants cancelled, and has since disappeared.  Which is odd, considering that he came on pretty strong... but, you know, stranger things have happened.  It's probably for the best, too, since I had a few doubts about him and the fact that we are both overly sensitive girls who just want to be pursued.  And did I mention that when I googled him (natch) I discovered that he was lying about his age?  Yeah, he shaved off 6 years (believe me, buddy, we'd all like to do that, but you just can't!) and changed himself from older than me to slightly younger, which is simply not cool.  On to the next!

The next bachelor in question we're going to call Woods, and if you know me, you know why.  Yes, in this Very Special Episode of DBNS, Jane confronts her superficiality and goes on a date with a chubby guy.  (Woods is a code word for overweight, picked up from an old college BF.)  We met for a drink, and while I was expecting maybe "stocky yet attractive" he was 20 lbs.. closer to "oh, that poor guy could be so cute!"   I am embarrassed to admit that when I saw him I kinda wanted to cut and run, but of course I had to make the best of it.  And you know what?  The best of it was kind of... good!  He's pretty cool: former college water polo player/fine artist/musician/worked for a huge rock band for a while/owns his own company/ fun and festive.  The worst part of his bio is that his brother is a pretty well-known (and definitely hot) actor.  (Let's just say they have different body types.)  He also has a kid (who doesn't these days??  But I guess if it doesn't bother the "ladies" of the Bach, who am I to judge?)  Anyway, we had two drinks and some lovely chit chat, and Woods asked me out again during the middle of it.  Of course I had to say yes- there is absolutely no way to to say to say anything else right to someone's face like that.  Then I kept playing a little internal head game, asking myself how this date would be going if he were the same guy, only slimmer.  I think I would have been all over it!  Oh dear.  Will Jane finally learn the error of her ways and put aside physical chemistry in her pursuit of lasting companionship?  Or are things doomed with Woods before they even begin?  Stay tuned...

In Other News

Some Quick Updates:

I had coffee with #1 yesterday.  I "hit him up on text" as he requested, even though I didn't really want to.  I'd like to be pursued by an old-fashioned gentleman who sends flowers and can't live without me.  But sometimes I feel like that may be an extinct species, and I convince myself to give these non-committal, modern-mannered texters another shot.  Well, I should have saved myself the trouble.  It was so blah.  He is cute!  And has cool interests, and we have things in common.  But for some reason, there was nothing there, for either of us.  I could literally see him losing interest in me.  And that is not a cute feeling.  And I've said it before, but I think I need to remind myself that I hate day dating.  Not enough can be said about the virtues of flattering lighting and alcohol.

Date #2 with Red Pants was last Thursday.  It was supposed to be on Tuesday, but I got really sick and had to cancel.  I wasn't really operating at 100% on Thursday either, but I was feeling guilty about canceling and decided to go.  Maybe it was the sniffles, but our chemistry wasn't quite what it had been on our first date.  Or perhaps it was the fact that he said "I'm needy"over the salad.  Yup.  I put down my wine glass and asked him to repeat it, because that was a first for me.  He told me that he was needy and affectionate, and really likes to be in constant contact with who he is seeing so he can feel sure that she likes him. Uh-huh.  I think I was on a date with a girl.  Add in the fact that I was forced to lead the conversation, and it's no wonder something was off.  We didn't kiss due to my cold.  My instincts are telling me it was an off night for both of us, and I'm giving it another shot tomorrow night.

And in other funny news, I also have a date on Friday night.  This new guy coincidentally chose the same restaurant as RP.  Which also happens to be across the street from my work, so the bartenders kinda know me.  Oh well, I'm happy to entertain...

OMFG, COL

Last week I finally made phone contact with a guy I had been emailing with for weeks. Now, you're probably already worried, because I just said "emailing for weeks".  I am too, because I know that is never a good idea.  I am in this for real-life dates, not pen pals.  But it had been the holidays, and there were illnesses, and friends visiting, and the emails were really funny.  Around Christmas, it was established that he was going to have about 2 weeks off from work with nothing to do.  I commented that I wished I could be a creature of leisure as well, and the next thing I knew I got looong satirical novellas about the band he was going to start, Creatures Of Leisure.  He photoshopped pictures of 80's hairbands with the C.O.L. logo on them, wrote about their hit single "Aint Gonna move My Towel", and their tour rider, and their inevitable breakup over creative differences.  Funny stuff, right?  (He has a creative job for one of the big bay area movie studios, so this seemed right in line with all that.)  I did notice that the emails were never about making plans, but I was busy enough not to sweat it.

We finally transitioned to the phone, and then the phone tag started.  I caught him last Monday night, in the middle of a very busy Gossip Girl/The Bachelor/laundry schedule.  We chatted; he was witty, sarcastic, and easy to talk to.  Great!  Let's make that date!  But COL was talking about the dentist, and booking travel online, and isn't it funny how we always look at fares but never book them when we should...  I looked at Chuck Bass frozen in paused sleaziness, and was itching to wrap this up.  I cut him off.  I know!  But he was ready to talk for 2 hours.  (Which I thought meant he was digging me, right?)  I told him I had to make another call and get some things done, and that it was great talking to him.  He agreed.  Okaaay...  I just bit the bullet and jokingly asked if we were finally ready to meet in person.  He LITERALLY responded "um...pause...pause...pause...uh..."  I was shocked, and couldn't believe that after all this, the answer to that question might actually be no!  I had to say "Oh!  Okay, well why don't we just say that you can give me a call if you feel like we should get together..."  I knew he would say "sorry! yeah, let's plan something."  But NO, he said OKAY, we hung up, and I stood there with my mouth open and Chuck smirking openly at me.  Seriously??  Why put all those weeks of effort into it, dude?!  He never called.  I have decided that he must have played D&D in the basement in high school and didn't know what to do with a real live girl on the other end of the line who wanted to actually date him.  Maybe his pictures on match are from 10 years and 50 pounds ago. I guess I'll never know...  Internet dating, it's the best.

Big Red

On Friday I ended up having a spontaneous first date!  There was a match guy I had been meaning to call back for about a week, and on Friday I finally gave him a ring.  It turns out we both had the day off and made a plan to meet for happy hour.  What's better than a little late-day drink with a cute boy?

I got there first, and spotted him in the mirror when he came in behind me.  For the first time in my long and illustrious blind dating career, my heart dropped and I hoped he somehow wouldn't see me.  How could this have happened?  He seemed so cute online, but now he looked way too hippie granola for my taste.  Oh dear!  I steeled myself for 2 drinks worth of Burning Man talk.   Luckily the dating gods were smiling down that afternoon, because it wasn't him!  Granola went right past me.  Hooray!  I was relieved when my real date spotted me- tall and dashing, with a great black jacket, grey scarf, and red pants.  Yes, red pants (jeans, actually).  But you know how there are those guys- confident, stylish,creative types- who can surprisingly pull something like that off?  And not seem gay/metro?  That was him!  He's new to town, a successful graphic designer with both a son and an ex-wife (interestingly enough, those 2 are not related).  Ah, adult dating- always a little complicated!  Who knows what all that means, but at first glance his baggage appears to be in check.  Anyway, Red Pants and I had chemistry!  It was fun!  And flirty!  He was as cute as #1, but there was a lot more vibe.  I would venture to say that he was into me...

And I think I'm right.  He linked arms with me as he walked me home, and asked me out again.  The next day RP texted me (of course!) 3 times, and asked me to spontaneously meet him again.  I declined, deciding to utilize the time-honored strategy of playing hard to get.  Our next date is scheduled for Tuesday.

True Romance

Be a better blogger in 09!  I promise I will try to be quicker with the PDWU's this year.  (Okay, MM?!)  Perhaps I should consider doing them immediately afterwards, when my impressions are fresh and cocktail fueled...

I guess I'm not quite there yet, because I'm writing now to report on Tuesday's date.  That was Date 1 with #1 Match Guy.  So romantic, this one, that after not hearing from him for a few days, he texted "can you make tonight or tomorrow?".  (Let me remind you, he also cancelled our first date!)  I chose tomorrow, and literally had to write "same plan, same place?" since he was not including those pesky little details.  To which he replied (he may be quoting Shakespeare here, I'm unsure...) "yep".  Be still, my beating heart!

Indulge me for a minute while I rant about men and texting.  Enabling a non-communicative, non-planning gender with a technology that allows for dates to be made and broken in fewer than five words is simply a disaster for women. And a dream come true for men. They used to have to call, hope to catch you, make five minutes of small talk, have some idea of what night works for them...  No longer.  They seem to think it's appropriate to manage it all with a few non-committal key strokes.  At least with email there was tone!  And greetings!  And sign-offs!  I try not to participate, but once they have your number, you are not safe.  (Perhaps I am still bitter from being broken up with over text?)   

Anyway, back to my date with #1.  We met after work , and I was so breezy I didn't even bring a change of shoes.  He was there first, looking even cuter than he did at Peet's, with dark frame glasses and a vintage western shirt.  Oh dear, I thought to myself, as I am sucker for both.  He was easy to chat with, comfortable in his own skin, mellow and confident.  He is a biologist, but he also owns a website featuring fine-art photography, and he's also a guitarist, and, oh yeah, some time after attending Cal and living in Europe, he did stonemasonry for a few years.  So, a true renaissance man.  He had a very relaxed vibe, like a surfer.  I liked him.  I wasn't knocked off my feet, but I wasn't not either...  (And besides, where did that ever get me?)

2 lovely drinks, then I excused myself to the loo.  When I returned, he was chatting with another guy he knew.  He had already closed our tab, but asked if I'd like to stay with him and Buddy Row for another drink.  I decided to leave him wanting more and make my way home.  He walked me out to say a proper goodbye (nice, gentlemanly) and said, in the grand tradition of all true romantics, "hit me up on text any time."  Swoon!  I replied "um, likewise...", and got a kiss on the cheek before my chariot arrived (muni #24) right on cue to whisk me home.  

He texted last night to say "coffee tomorrow morn?",  and I wrote back "happen to be off tomorrow" (we work in the same neighborhood, so he means before work) and waited for him to come back with another idea.  Yeah, I'm still waiting... 

New Year, New Men!

Appropriately enough, I am presently watching Becoming Jane, while dining on an entire TJ's Tart Alsace, a piece of chocolate-whiskey cake, and a glass of wine.  (New Year's healthy eating plans start tomorrow- always on a Monday!)  So, yes, I am clearly still a singleton- no new love interests in the during the holiday season.  But not to worry, the new year looks promising, and I am certain (truly!) that I should have this whole boyfriend thing wrapped up by June.

But what has happened in the past 3 weeks?  Aside from Christmas and the consumption of billions of alcohol and food units, there have been a few sort-of interesting dating updates...

-I continue to get quite a few Match emails every day (thank you, men of SF, for appreciating a gal who is not exactly 22!) but have had just one actual date.  It was so memorable that I literally forgot to do a PDWU.  Circumstances proved fortuitous, however, and he left for town for extended holiday travel.  Hooray!

-Right before Christmas I actually ran into my #1 Match Guy in real life.  (Whenever one considers joining Match, one must go on and inspect the talent, and see if it's "worth it".  They all look fine, nothing great, nothing terrible, until you spot The One.  There is always that guy.  Suddenly, having a date with that guy seems worth the -actual- price of admission.)  So anyway, #1 and I had a few emails, but I hadn't heard from him in a few days.  I stopped at Peet's one morning with my co-worker, when, Guess Who was there, alone with laptop and latte.  SUCH a personal victory (and general life lesson)- I just so happened to be looking cute, if I do say so myself.  Ready for work, in a dress, with fresh make-up and perfect Serena waves!  We recognized each other and smiled, and I got an email an hour later telling me how pretty I was (!) and asking me out.  (Another life lesson- real life always trumps the online thing.)  We set up a date for Xmas Eve Eve and I thought I was starring in my own personal romcom.  Until...  he canceled by text a few hours before the date.  Uh-huh.  He was "sick".  Suddenly I remembered the kinds of dramas that I actually do star in (heavy on the comedy, decidedly light on the romantic).  Just heard from him a few days ago, via text (men are such gentlemen these days!) and a plan has yet to be pinned down.  Something tells me I am not the only one who has chosen him for #1...

-Keeping with the comedy theme, and the larger theme of I Do Not Make This Stuff Up, an entirely different guy suddenly took ill, hours before our date, on Saturday.  

-And speaking of themes, I rang in 09 with five other fabulous single ladies, who are so wise they had an official motto for the evening: "New Year, New Men".  Halle-effin-lujah!   I loved that idea so much that I drank one too many margaritas to it.  We also talked about what each of us was going to leave behind in 08.  I silently decided to leave HD obsessions behind, and by 1/1 decided to expand that idea to all the exes.  I guess they all felt the shift, because HD IM'd me last night, this one ran into my friend and told her to tell me that he was so sorry about not making those coffee plans, (and, btw, his wife is pregnant with their third child), this one sent me a note to say he spotted me on Match and it "made him smile", and this one keeps emailing me about The Bachelor.  Looks like it will be an interesting year...

Happy 09!  x. Jane