Another Kind of Reunion...

SO happy to have an HD update!  After waiting patiently during his Big Event Prep, we finally were able to get together for lunch Thursday.  Yes, Thursday- the day of said event.  Poor HD was running around like a (local, organic, farm-raised) chicken with his head cut off, but said he really wanted to see me- that it would be a welcome break.  Hooray!  To borrow from one of my dearest, "I have a PhD in" Busy Guy.  Whether it was band practice, all-night sound editing, or, uh, working on his PhD, I am all too familiar with fighting for attention with the demands of my beau's work.  I always wanted to be port in the storm, but unfortunately the storm usually came first.  My lessons of "call me just to say you can't call me" just fell on deaf ears.  But here I was, being squeezed in for a lunch and snuggle, when HD's to-do list was still uncomfortably long.  This was a different breed of Busy Guy!  Perhaps the distinction is that this BG also appears to be Into Me Guy.  So into me, I might add, that he snuck over at 1 am that night, once he had finally wrapped things up.  (And remember, the Golden Gate is between us!)  We also met for lunch AND dinner on Friday!  (Btw, the meals with this one have been insane!)  If I am counting correctly, that makes Dates 5-8 within the span of 2 days!  Things feel romantic, and also increasingly comfortable.  I'm feeling less and less like I am interested in dating other guys.  And I am still doing a good job of keeping my big-picture worries at bay, and just enjoying the moment.  Have I actually pulled off my goal of meeting a great man in SF?  So far, so good...

HD Update

I haven't seen HD since last week.  I know!  But apart from missing him terribly, I think all is well.  He is hosting a major work event later this week, and I had one over the weekend (see below).  We have been in touch quite a bit (he is quite the texter!), and are planning to reconnect after his thing.  I have had a few dark moments of insecurity (spinning out is just a natural part of really liking someone, right?) but I am now back to normal and anticipating our reunion.  Now, if I only had another date to distract me while I'm waiting...

Revenge of the Nerds?

So this weekend was my high school reunion.  I normally never out myself on these kinds of things, but yes, it was 20 years.  20 years!  How did that happen?  I'm definitely feeling more like 10.  And going to a 20 year reunion when you are single, childless, and never-married (did I mention unemployed?) requires a certain amount of preparation, mental and otherwise.  I had to figure out if there were any other single people going, and most importantly, if any of them were guys.  Imagine my shock when I discovered that not only was there an eligible SF bachelor who was going to be attending solo, he was actually a guy I had scoped out on a dating site!  He was totally unrecognizable from his former nerd days, with broad shoulders and wavy dark hair.  Very promising!  I actually started an email relationship with him earlier this summer, under the guise of reunion networking.  He was nice enough, until I asked him to meet for a drink.  He shied away from my invitation, and then never wrote to me again.  Nice!  All the more motivation to look super hot for the big shindig.

And let me tell you, that was not all that hard to pull off next to some of my former classmates. (Sorry, HS brings out the cattiness...)  Those ladies may have rings on their fingers and someone to keep them warm at night, but I have something that may be only a distant memory to them: a pre-baby-weight body, no spanx required.  So I was feeling cute and confident, and certain that Former Nerd would be eating his heart out.  I ran into him early on, during the nervous pre-cocktail moments.  He was as cute as his photos, and friendly.  We agreed to chat more later once we made the rounds.  Despite my hesitations about going, it was really so fun.  Unlike high school itself, it was great to talk to everyone, not just my old friends.  And I'm glad I got over myself- I actually never really felt weird being there alone.  After about 50 catch-up convos and maybe half as many drinks, my attentions returned to FN.  Where was he?  Why was he not chatting me up?  Did he not realize that we were both attractive, single urbanites in a sea of suburban married folk?

I was a woman on mission.  I infiltrated the nerd ranks and chatted up his friends.  I sent some of mine in to talk to him.  We did connect and talk for a bit (details foggy) but there was no flirty vibe.  Someone's wife, another girl's husband, and a few friends of mine all had the same conclusion: dude seems gay.  Really?  Let's remember, I found this guy on an online dating site!  (And wait, was that why he was suddenly so good looking?)  When I like someone and the feelings are not returned, I often default to "he must be gay", so at least I had backup on that this time.  But really, FN?  Please stop advertising yourself to women and sort out your issues.  After he left, I got over it and on to the task at hand: all night hotel room parties with a motley crew of people I barely knew 20 years ago.  Hooray!  

I'm Not Sayin, I'm Just Sayin...

Guess who decided to drive across the bridge for an impromptu 10pm rendezvous last night?  (And he arrived with 3 kinds of chocolate!)

Man Up

Last night I took Hot Dad to a fundraiser/info session that my friend was hosting for the volunteer organization that she works for.  First of all- let's just consider that.  I never bring a date!  Even when I have had boyfriends, they always seem to be the sort that either can't make it or can't handle it.  But HD was different.  He had no problem with attending, and was a superstar while there.  He was friendly, interested, chatting people up, asking questions... What?  I'm not familiar.  Here's the thing: he is A Man.  He is a full-fledged, fully-cooked grown up, not a Guy (or worse, A Boy) who is too cool for school.  I looked across at him and thought- "huh- somehow, I am here with A Man."  I've always had a thing for younger guys, but after seeing HD in action, I may be rethinking that policy.  If this real adult dating, sign me up.

After the event we went to get a bite and a drink, and then back to his for foosball (he has a table- see, not too grown up) and some olympics.  We were having such a great time- it's been a while, but this is that thrilling early dating moment when you don't care what you do, you just want to hang out with this person.  (Sitting as closely as possible, of course.)  And it feels so easy!  Such a contrast compared to all the strategy involved with my usual dating- keeping the cards close to the vest, trying not to appear too eager.  Suddenly, when you are really into someone, and it feels mutual, that all just seems to fade away.  I realize that I am probably speaking to soon- this was only Date 3!  I have had big letdowns after Date 7's or Date 10's in the past, so I know that's out there.  But give me a break, I am still on the high of a particularly great evening...  I am nothing if not a hopeless romantic.

And speaking of romance, we had a very fun night together that lasted until the wee hours.  I decided to ignore the legos (no cart before horse!) and concentrate on gorgeous HD.  Can' t wait till next time...

Finally

 Date 3 with HD tonight!  He was out of town for a long weekend, so I have been waiting.  And it looks like I am definitely into him, because even though I was quite busy and social during his absence, 4 days seemed like 4 weeks!  (Uh-oh...)

PDWU tomorrow!

Adventures in Legoland

Yesterday was date 2 with Hot Dad.  The plan was for a hike and lunch (so Nor Cal!)  I can work out with the best of them, and I liked the idea of doing something different, so I thought this sounded like a fun idea.  Until I found myself getting ready in the bright sunlight of 9 am, sliding my freshly washed hair back into a headband, and putting on workout clothes and running shoes.  Umm wait- this is dating??  No flattering lighting, no booty-lifting heels, no eyeliner?  And most importantly, no alcohol??  What had I gotten myself into?  I was certain he was going to take one look at me and wonder what happened to the girl from Friday night.

But happily, not the case.  He was as cute as ever (have I mentioned that he is 6'4"?) and as soon as I saw him, I relaxed.  And he said that I looked "hot." Really dude?  Not sure that I agree, but that takes the edge off- thank you.  Our hike was truly gorgeous, and we were having that fun second date conversation that is a heady mixture of discovery, a tiny bit of familiarity, and a whole lot of flirtation.  And btw, he is SO not a player- if anything he is sweet and goofy.  Love it!  After a good 2-hour workout, we went on to a delicious outdoor lunch (and a beer- hooray!) on the harbor.  I could get used to this!  After we ate, he asked if I'd like to see his place.  He has recently moved, and said he needed some "design help" with his house.  I took this as code for "makeout" and readily obliged.

And then... the house.  Great looking for the outside.  Outdoorsy, sexy, masculine... very fitting of a dashing Nor Cal chef.  But inside: clutter.  And not just regular clutter, but legos.  Tons and tons of legos.  Everywhere.  Suddenly, I realized that I had been focusing on the H in HD too much and ignoring the D.  This man is a dad, with a son that lives with him.  I felt a little overwhelmed, because this is uncharted territory for me.  I tried to push that aside, and be present.  I can't forget that fact, but I don't want to let it freak me out either.  After the house tour and design consultation, we got down to couch time.  Very fun indeed, complete with the "five more minutes, five more minutes" that is the hallmark of snuggling with someone that you are really into.  Ladies, I believe I am smitten.  He texted last night to say that the day was "super fun", and I couldn't agree more.

Hot Date with Hot Dad

So, Friday was my date with Hot Dad. Instead of my usual "meet for drinks", he kicked it up a notch by picking me up for dinner.  Lovely!  Once in the car, he just started chatting non-stop - and yes, mostly about himself.  Oh dear, was this going to be a long night of "uh-huhs"?  Before dinner we stopped off at a wine bar- he is thinking of opening one, and wanted to scope out the competition.  Fun- I love playing restaurant critic!  He was still going full speed when I guess he heard himself, took a deep breath, and said "I have ADD".  I laughed and agreed that he must, and I saw him visibly relax.  Suddenly I got it- he wasn't a self absorbed jerk, he was nervous.  I think he's an out-of-practice dater who thought he had to fill up all the silences and try to impress me.  Our date eased into more of a conversation than a monologue, and started to become really fun.  We went on to dinner at a fantastic spot of his choosing (I put him in charge of food and wine selection- love when there's a professional on the team!) and we had a great time.  He was outgoing, fun, and interested, and I felt like we had some chemistry building.  We nixed dessert in favor of a cocktail at a bar in my neighborhood, and I was noticing how easily  things were flowing.  When HD kissed me on the cheek, I knew the sparks were flying because I was dying for the real thing.

We tried to go to 2 more bars (decided against one, one was no loner serving) and ended up back at mine.  At this point I wasn't thinking about his commute home, I was just thinking about what a good time I was having.  We watched the Olympics over giant vodka sodas and just talked and talked.  I eventually got my real kiss (and then some), and the next thing I knew it was 4am.  Now, does having 2 sleepover dates in 2 weeks (with 2 different guys!) make me a slut?  I'm hoping I can squeeze by on the technicality that neither one involved sex, and in both cases I was doing my part to keep drunk drivers off the road.  Still, not exactly ideal, but I'm just gonna go with the fact that any date that lasts 13 hours must be a good one.

There have been many text messages since (16 from him yesterday alone!) and our next date is planned for tomorrow.  Hardly my usual routine of waiting around for a week to hear from someone.  I don't know, I'm just going to say I'm cautiously optimistic...

Hot Cad?

On Saturday I was on the other side of the Golden Gate, so I met my Marin friend for a drink in Sausalito. We went to essentially the only bar in town, a dive bar filled with half yuppies/half alcoholics, almost all guys. She immediately spotted a guy that she has seen at the farmer's market (obviously, he's one of the yuppies) and has nicknamed "Hot Dad". Before we knew it, HD and his friend approached. He certainly lives up to his nickname, with amazing thick wavy hair and a 7 year old son. He owns a restaurant (now that I am well into my thirties, chefs are my new musicians- I know better, but can't resist.) Like every man before him who has ever had women describing him as hot, he was charming and fun, but totally self-absorbed and most likely a cad. BUT, when talk turned to the upcoming Wilco concert, he insisted that "we should go". Okay, twist my arm... He gave me his card (I was going to give him my number, but he pushed the card back towards me and said "just email me." See?) So I did, halfway not expecting a response. But he actually replied right away, suggesting dinner this week. He has been funny and friendly, and totally on it. Hmm... perhaps less of a rogue than I originally thought? Here's hoping! The date is Friday.

Napping with Napa

Nothing quite as dramatic as "catching" anyone on a date with someone else this week, but time goes on, and happily, so do the dates!

Last Thursday I had plans with young (former) Water Polo Guy, who I met in a dive bar in Larkspur and lives in Napa. He was going to be in the city for work (he works for Coppola- that's so Nor Cal sexy, isn't it?) and our plan was to meet for an after-work cocktail. I was told to be ready and waiting for the call between 5 and 6. I was running a little late, so I was happy when he called at 6. Problem was, they were still going, and could we push it to 8? Aside from being ready, I didn't mind- (back when I used work, I made this call a lot myself!) Heading out the door at 7:50, I got another call- this time I could literally hear him asking other people when they would be done. They had decided to do a spontaneous wine photo shoot, and there was no leaving for WP. Since this date was obviously my plan for the night, I had nothing else going on- I figured the date would either fall apart or I'd still feel up for going out later. At 10 pm, after many updates, he was finally free. Now, I knew this was coming... he was so tired form work that he wanted to know if he could just grab a bottle and come over to mine. I sensed that the combination of late start time + wine + a man who's age starts with the number 2 and is an hour and a half from home would prove to be a dangerous one, but he assured me he would be a gentleman. I begrudgingly agreed.

He arrived in no time, and was was charming, fun and just as tall and cute as I remembered. We had a great time talking, and I was thinking that perhaps I had been too leery of WP. But sure enough, at 12:30, he said "are you really going to make me drive home?". Way to play it, dude, because can I really turn someone out to fend for themselves on country roads with half a bottle of wine in them? I told him I really wasn't planning on a sleepover date, but I would let him stay just because I felt bad kicking him out. I felt like a collegiate when he promised me we would just "kiss and snuggle", and even more so when he spent the entire night trying to do much more than that. He left in the wee hours, and I managed to survive the night with my dignity intact and a fondness for Water Polo Guy. We have had a few text messages since then, but I'm not quite sure that we're ready to embark on a "long distance relationship"... In any case, he's adorable and it was a fun night.